words to live by, courtesy of Andrew Ryan. sure, he's dead now, but he chose his death.
this quote has little or nothing to do with my post this evening.
being a father, i learn something new every day. some days (most days) i learn something new that i can get upset about, like who the hell is leaving chewed-up bubblegum in the shower, stuck to my soap? disgusting, i know. unbelievable, i know. but true. that's why gum is outlawed in the house. i've found it stuck to everything and in everything. one of the kids told the youngest to stick a chewed-up piece of gum behind her ear, to save it for later. she left it there so long it got stuck in her hair and we had to cut out a chunk of her hair. so she had a sideburn for a while. a good look, if you're name is elvis. or
grim.
but i'm veering off-subject. i want to talk about what i learned yesterday. i learned humility ( i know, i should be well practiced in that by now...). here's how it all happened:
i get home from work, to find that my son kage (pronounced "cage") has made a fort with out youngest, mimsy (obviously, names are changed to protect any innocents; they chose their own names, by the way). this in and of itself is no big deal. they are in the basement, underneath a complicated network of blankets, chairs and pillows, all somehow connected to the entertainment center. like i said, this is nothing new. i ask them what it is they are watching under there.
"house on haunted hill," kage says.
"let me get this straight," i say, massaging my vocal chords for the inevitable screaming session that is about to start, "you're watching a Rated-R movie under there?"
"um," he says, "maybe..."
and the lecture ensues. how i don't care if he's seen it, his mother let him watch it, the older sister is also in there with them. "the problem," i tell him, "is not that you've seen it and have been allowed to by your mother. the problem is that you're showing said movie to a six-year-old."
so he turns it off. "i turned it off," he tells me.
"not the point," i tell him. "point is, you did it in the first place." and i'm not pleased. so the evening goes on. i get my wife on the phone, after dinner, and fill her in on the events that had transpired earlier.
"
grim," she says to me, "they weren't watching a Rated-R movie in there."
"oh yes they were."
"don't be dim," she tells me. "they were watching the
1959 version starring Vincent Price." and once she said that, i felt like a jerk.
we'd seen that one together like a dozen times. a few skeletons dancing around. nothing like the
1999 version, starring geoffrey rush and famke janssen.
so the next day, i made it a point to apologize to kage, shake hands, and tell him that he did nothing wrong. he accepted my apology, and didn't even rub it in my face.
then i made him clean out the cat-box. just so he still knew who was boss.
so, like i said, i learn something new every day, being a father. just recently, i learned that it is ok to misstep, as long as you correct that misstep by taking two steps in the right direction.
so that was that, and now, a quick note about the title. man choosing, slave obeying. my wife, as i'm sure some of you know, has found herself in a very unique position to have a job that she enjoys and that can really pay off, and sooner rather than later.
in the short-run, it means long hours and the two of us maybe not seeing each other too often.
in the long-run, it means her doing something she has always enjoyed and being paid well to do it.
for me, it means stepping up to the plate and taking on some more household responsibility.
before it was work all day, come home, relax. maybe help out a bit here and there. don't get me wrong, i always did my fair share of the cooking, but laundry? fucking hate folding clothes. now, it is still work all day, but then it's come home, make dinner, clean up, do laundry, help with homework, do more laundry, clean up, put the kids to bed, etc. but i choose to do this. i am not forced to do this, nor would my wife ever force me to do this. i could leave the brunt of it for her to do, and she would find a way to do three loads of laundry a night after getting home at ten pm. but i know it's easier for everyone if both of the grownups in the house do some work around here. and really, how bad do i have it? i get paid to play video games all day. why shouldn't i do something to help out my wife, who has always worked so hard?
my wife sees it as an opportunity for me to be able to quit my job and become a "working writer". at this point, i would love nothing more. but you know the saying, "don't quit your day job". so until writing is my day job, i'll work where i work and do what i do. but i choose to do it. no one is making me do it. remember the title? a man chooses. a slave obeys.
well, maybe i obey a bit also (especially after the kids are in bed. grrrowlr).
until something changes, i remain
grim.
ok. see you soon. i'm off to get some laundry done.
