9.52 on a tuesday morning

still working the graveyard shift at the factory, as most of you know. i've heard rumors that this week holds the tenuous promise of reviews, which hold an even stringier promise of a raise for some of us. really looking forward to good news on the raise front. it would be a real shame to be overlooked for my performance over the last year, in which i have consistently performed the tasks usually set forth for two separate worker-entities. would be a real shame... if that building were to go up in flames..

kidding. i don't even own matches anymore.

in other news, if you haven't noticed, any and all updates regardin

g my creative writing attempts/progress have ceased, and for some time now. the work schedule is taking a toll both physically and mentally, and i don't have the particular drive lately to work on any personal creative projects. which is a shame (that word seems to be popping up a lot in this post), because i do daydream up all sorts of stuff at work while i watch the labels wizz past at speeds topping 400 fpm. once i'm home, however, all drive to actually put any of it to down, aside from some light scribbling on scrap paper, goes away. here, on the desk next to me, sits a pile of napkins, receipts, and assorted other torn or wrinkled pages, containing 100 beginnings of 100 great american novels. someday, someday soon, the writer inside will wake up and hopefully put pen to paper proper (finger/keyboard, whatever).

i could blame it all on lack of sleep, which there is no lack of (no lack of lack of sleep, not no lack of sleep. follow?), but i feel that there may be more to it that that. lack of sleep, sure, but also lack of interaction with others. lack of family time. lack of scotch? serious. i get home from work, and once the kids are off to school, i just want to go to bed and disappear until work starts again, so i can get through the week as quick as possible, make it to that wonderful, dreamlike period of time called "the weekend", in which i barely sleep at all, spending time with the family during the day, and staying up all night to keep the weekly schedule.. um.. scheduled. there is barely any drive to put on pants most of the time, let alone sit myself down for an hour or two a day to work on something.

i know what you're thinking. excuses, excuses. and you're right. they are excuses. i've got more of them, too, involving everything from diet, to car trouble, to 3 teenagers in the house, to showing all of the telltale signs of depression. all of these are excuses i could throw out as to why i haven't been writing. i'm going to stick with the work schedule for now, though, until it gets old.

i am, secretly, inside, hoping that i don't get that raise, so i can start looking for another job. during the day. or the

evening. anything but overnight. i want to sleep in the same bed as my wife at the same time, have dinner with my kids, and enjoy a scotch in the evening. because a quick beer at 7.30am is nothing like a nice Glenmorangie after dark.

that last passage was a secret wish, like i said, until now. because now i've said it, and you all read it.

so, as far as the job goes, i'll keep you posted. and as far as the writing goes, i'll keep you posted.

up until very recently, other things were brewing over here. i began a little project on the weekends involving a bunch of old home movies, a newly purchased vcr, and a fresh youtube account. by clicking here, you can fast-travel to Clifton Park Home Videos, a (small) collection of newly-transferred videos from my high school days in New York, and then in Indianapolis. only a few so far, but i've lots of tapes to sift through, so more to come.

enough for now. tune in next time to hear about what i've been reading, my never-ending dream to run my own comic book store, my love of cheese, and what it's like to run a family of six (plus two cats, one awesome* and one not-so-much**), on a pressman and a saleswoman's salaries (the saleswoman would be my wife, not me).

*the awesome cat noted above. his name is jeph.

**the other, not-so-awesome cat, not worth picturing.

who wants to work in a comic book store?

approximate time, 4.40am. saturday morning. i am stuck between sleeping during the day to keep my weekly schedule going and sleeping at night to enjoy the weekend with my family. i end up losing on both ends. i am ridiculously tired throughout the day and have to disappear for hours to indulge in naps, and i am unable to sleep in the evenings, and wander about the house, quiet, drinking imported beers, trying not to wake anyone up, yet not knowing what to do with myself. even this typing i have to do quietly, gently, to avoid waking my wife, who sleeps as we speak, soundly, in the same room.

as you may know, i applied for a job in the new comic book store that opened in the local mall this week. after returning to the store today, i now have no desire to work in such an establishment. it looks like a great place to work, if t6ou want to work retail;. comics, movies, and video games. books, fiction and non, movie posters, action figures, statues, the lot. what fan would not ant to work there?

today i went in with my kids to wander about, maybe purchase a few things. the first flaw i found was in the comic book section proper. on the racks labeled "new this week" there were maybe ten books. on the racks labeled "new recent" maybe ten others. and by "racks" i mean "rack". sad. i know Diamond releases more in a week or a month than this.

the store advertises their subscription service. 10% off books you have added to your pull list. good stuff. i am interested in this, i tell the guy at the counter. he is unsure, shaky in his delivery. he tells me i may want to find Abby, the "Comic Book" girl. unfortunately, she is off on this particular day. when i tell him the books i am looking to subscribe to, he is completely flabbergasted. Elric, Planet of the Apes, and Hellraiser (all BOOM! books) are not on his list. he does not think that i can subscribe to these books because they are, as already noted, not on his list. again, i would have to talk to Abby. who is, again, not in evidence.

i did purchase the 3-4 books i had in my hands, because i did want to see the new Ghost Rider, and i did want to see what the Thunderbolts were up to. after reading some of that, i would have rather seen Elric and Pinhead and some Damn Dirty Apes.

why can't there be a comic book store within 30 miles of my house that is not inept? i have been to two different shops that were great, but they are farther away than warrants the cost in gas for the 3-4 books i am really after these days. Hellblazer, how i miss you so. i live in Chesterfield, Missouri. it is a town full of rich people, where the parents work hard and the kids are afforded whatever their little hearts could possibly desire. do none of those bastards desire comic books, video games, warhammer, magic, d&d? none of it? i know if it was within reach, they would go for it. the parents want to drink mojitos and bad light beer. they want to give their children something to do in the meantime.

i will continue to lament the lack of a decent comic book store within 25 miles of my house. someday, when i am out of debt and independently wealthy, i will open such a shop. until then, must i rely on mail order?

sunday night back to work

my alarm is set for 8.15pm. when it goes off, the message that flashes tells me to "go to work. be happy." i have the alarm set for 8.15pm because last week i transferred to the graveyard shift at the factory. this move was necessary if i wanted to be trained on a press. so now start work at 10pm, and finish my shift at the cheery side of 6am.

the transition has, so far, not been a pleasant one. (note. this is not me complaining.)

now when i get home from work, i sleep roughly until my wife goes to work (sometimes two hours, sometimes i'm lucky and it will be four), at which point the children, under strict orders not to disturb until i wake up to make them lunch, wake me up as soon as she is gone (they are kids. this is what they do). after much grumbling regarding my lack of sleep, i get up and get going.

"getting going" involves lunch, laundry, pool work, laundry and dinner prep/serve/clean-up before the magical hour of 6pm when i announce that i am going to lay down for a few minutes. after exactly a few minutes, the children decided i've rested long enough, and they begin wrestling elephants and practicing their marching orders upstairs.

so, generally unrested, i head to the shower, step into my uniform, and grudgingly head out the door around 9pm.

work eight hours, repeat.

i am excited about the job. learning to operate a press is obviously new to me, and i am trying to soak up as much information as my trainer can throw at me. if he would show up for work, that is. after the first night of training, he didn't show up again and i was on my own. i still don't really know how to turn the damn thing on, yet i'm expected to produce 40,000 feet of retail-worthy product. nothing like being thrown to the wolves. this wolf is forty-five feet long and has sharp metal teeth that can de-glove my arm in about two seconds if i'm not careful. good thing my trainer has been there to show me where all those... oh, wait...

so i'm looking forward to learning all of the ins and outs of running the press. and i'm looking forward to the raise in pay that is supposed to come with it. i'm not looking forward to this schedule change. i don't like not seeing/sleeping next to my wife. i don't like being overly tired during the day when the kids are bored with nothing to do. i don't like that i can't find a convenient time to write that i have most of my faculties about me.

i'm sure it will all come together. or i could start practicing saying "welcome to wal-mart".

i've got to head out the door. tune in next time for the "saga of the pool" (with pictures, mind you), and details regarding my first road trip back to the old stomping grounds in indiana (family in tow!).

i hope all is well my friends. i look forward to seeing some of you very soon.