criticisms

so my wife is out of town, on her first business trip. away in another state. three of the children are with their biological father, leaving mimsy and i to fend for ourselves.

after haranguing my wife since the initial draft was done, she began reading the story last night. she made a point to call me up, late (when she should have been sleeping), with criticism.

"it was like someone was telling a story," she said over the phone, "and then, right in the middle of it, you cut in." i know the scene she's talking about, and after hearing her say that, it makes a lot of sense. "this story is told from someone else's point of view, except for this one section, where it just sounds like you, at home, talking to me or the kids." what she was telling me was "very sarcastic".

she's got a good point. that scene is a bit sarcastic. only a few lines, but enough that it broke the flow of the story, the suspension of disbelief that i'm working toward. looks like i'll be going back to those lines, giving them a bit of a shake-up.

another good friend was kind enough to give me a few tips that have made me think twice about my writing style. not a complete overhaul, by any means, but a few pointers to keep the story from being too personal or too internal.

and then another friend has given me some insight into the bigger picture. world-building exercises. religion, politics, history. i'm hoping to flesh some of that out in the first stories, and then have points to expand on from there.

what i'm getting at is that i am a bit self-conscious having too many people read my work before it is "done". if i don't keep it somewhat secret, than am i really taking it seriously? isn't it an intellectual property that i would like to maintain? possibly profit from at some point? least of all, let someone else take the credit? the few people that i have given my manuscript to were selected because i know they are honest people, good friends as well, who will give me their opinions and criticisms to help me craft a better story, and in turn, a better world.

so thank you to my friends, for all of your input. it is very much appreciated.